I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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