I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
