I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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