Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dick has a subreddit
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize