...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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