U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
