porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
