why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
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