Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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