Kiss
Puke
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize