It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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