I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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