The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
