She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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