She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
