Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
