i permit you to call me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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