It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
