lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
