i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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