And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
