I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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