I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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