these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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