I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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