Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
