i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
