how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
