Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
