Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
