If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
