worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
MIDGETS
????
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize