Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
