I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize