so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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