You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
