At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
