Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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