Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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