Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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