a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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