one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
