They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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