How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
