Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
