This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
