I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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