Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize