I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
