she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
