Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
