I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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