I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
