Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
