he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish you could order shots online.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
