Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
