Your tits are I can't wait for
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
