I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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