So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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