I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
