A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize