I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
