We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
