Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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