i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
