Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
