She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
