Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
