I murdered the dance floor call the cops
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
