? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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