is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
